In my 10 plus years of on again, off again, online dating, I've encountered all kinds......my friends (fellow online daters) and I seem to have the habit of attributing nicknames to many of these "experiences." Nicknames that are not always flattering, but are definitely always apt. Just a few from the collection:
1. Needs a Dictionary Guy (my favorite J------- story, always good for a laugh with friends who are also intellectual elitists)
2. Gold Chain and Black Lame Guy (that's luh-may, not lame.....yes, and I think the name explains itself, however the story will be forthcoming, since it's K------'s favorite story of all time)
3. Beef (this one comes from K------ in NYC and I would have loved to have seen him in person)
4. Red-Neck, Triangle-tooth Fisherman Guy (my personal favorite, this was my record all-time shortest date at a Starbucks in Tallahassee, FL)
5. Big Fat Liar Guy (a man whose pics were definitely from 20 years ago, who looked more my father's age than my own)
6. The Perv (a recent winner who seemed to be able to make every comment whether spoken or written and say something dirty or disgusting, no matter how many times I asked him not to)
7. TMI Guy (a guy who shared his Urinary Tract Infection Information in our 3rd phone call, thanks but no thanks)
8. White Jean Shorts Guy (yes, a man actually showed up for a date in straight leg white jean shorts, Tallahassee again, need I say more?)
9. The Magician (my favorite guy from EHarmony who actually was a good match but lived too far away and his job was actually motivational speaking using magic for corporate venues)
10. Tattoo Guy (my most recent foray into online dating brought me head to head with a guy who actually HATES tattoos and was apparently so repulsed by my bracelet that he decided he could never date me. That story too, in another episode).
Shall we begin with "Needs a Dictionary Guy?" He is the primary reason that I began to reevaluate my own need to be with a man who is either my intellectual equal or strives to be culturally, socially, and politically aware in his own areas of expertise.
I don't think it's too much to ask that a man have a basic vocabulary at his disposal....
J------ went on a date perhaps a year and a half ago, and I vividly remember the phone call that followed. She called almost directly after returning home.
Dinner at a chain-y type Bennigan's, Friday's, Chili's place....
Small talk ensued and as part of the conversation her date says,
"Hey, I guess my shirt kind of matches the decor in here"
Jocelyn responds,
"Yes, how thematic of you"
His response,
"Huh?"
She has to explain what the word "thematic" means.........
Now, some might think we're being a little judgmental here, but I say, if a man doesn't know what the word "thematic" means, I don't think I can date him. I don't think I can respect him intellectually.
If you don't know what "thematic" means, are you going to be versed in what is going on politically in our world? are you going to understand the significance of current debates over health care? are you going to care about these things at all? If the answer to any of these is "No" then I could never date you.
I'm not asking for a political analyst or a health care guru or even someone who is as fervent about any of these issues as I am, but I do want someone who can understand and discuss the issues, even if we don't agree.
So, if I sound like an intellectual elitist, then so be it. I want someone well-read, aware, and who has an educated opinion on the matters of our world. If it's too much to ask, then I'd rather stay single
:)
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