Break's over..................maybe.

So, it's been 3 months since I posted..................why so long, you ask?  Because I haven't gone on a date in that period of time.....by CHOICE!  I needed a break.  So did you, admit it :)  One can only take so much of my "dating stories" before you just have to wonder if there is, indeed, something wrong with me?  That's what I was contemplating these past couple of months.  And, I've come to the conclusion that, while I may have some issues, the stories I've told are NOT the result of my issues :)

Two things bring me back:

1.  Today, my "ex" friended me on facebook?  WHAT??????????????????????????  Yes, you read that correctly, my ex, who talked of marriage, love, blah blah blah, decides after two years (a wife and a child now) to "friend" me on facebook?  How does that happen, guys, how?  What it is that clicks in your brain that says, hey, it's okay to friend her on facebook now.  Maybe she wants to know that I'm married and have a baby.  Yeh, yeh, she'll definitely want to know all about my life after I effectually destroyed hers! 
I thought I had moved on..........I mean, two years is a long time.  And, I was finally able to look at his artwork on my kitchen wall and not really think about him at all, but the enjoyment that I felt at looking at the artwork.
That artwork is now in the garbage dumpster of my condo complex.  Trashpickers alert!  Some great artwork in Annapolis just waiting to be rescued from the last trashcan on the right!  I realized today that while I had successfully avoided the complex feelings I still carry regarding that "relationship," I was only avoiding it because I was actully "avoiding" anything that would remind me of him or it - I hid all of my FB friends that are friends with him, so I wouldn't have to see anything related to his life or the people who shared in our lives.  I had gotten rid of everything, except that DAMN artwork.  Well, now it is gone.....I wish I could safely and legally set fire to it somewhere....maybe I'd feel better.  Maybe. 
When I sent a message (after ignoring his friend request) asking why he was friending me, his response was "oops sorry"  WTF.  You can't friend someone on accident on facebook.  You have to actually be on their profile page to select the button that says "friend request."  Don't we all know this?  So, how does an "oops sorry" explain anything.  Why are you looking at my profile page?  Really?  Why?  My response, "What an ass.  Thanks for drudging up old wounds....."  Done.  Deleted.  Some might say that this "gives him power."  I call bullshit on that perspective.  He's an ass.  He should be told he's an ass.

2.  After the emotional trauma of being "friended" I did what I always do when I am feeling emotionally vulnerable, I went looking at online dating sites.  hahahahahahahahaha.  Yes, a bizarre coping tactic, but effective nonetheless.  This way I don't eat the box of brownie mix sitting on my shelf or the macaroni and cheese or gorge on chocolate/caramel treats or a bottle of wine or 6 pack of beer, or.......any of the other number of things that we all tend to do.

I prefer instead to have a good laugh at the people who are on online dating sites (yes, I was and kind of am one of them), but I enjoy looking at the pictures that people think are going to get them "anywhere."  Today, I peeked at OK cupid....danger, danger, Will Robinson!

A few of the best:

 Now, we've had this discussion before, blog readers!
Violation #1:  You are taking a picture of yourself with your cell phone in a mirror.
Violation #2:  This picture is being taken in a bathroom mirror.
Violation #3:  This picture is being taken in a "PUBLIC BATHROOM MIRROR."

What are you thinking, Mr. Okay Cupid?  I can see the toilet just behind the cracked stall door to your right, our left...............This is just disturbing on so many levels!!!!!!!

I think someone needs to remind this guy that it's 2010.  Although, I'm sure that all of the "historical re-enactment women" are just clamoring over his brute masculinity and his ability to "grow hair" which indicates to all of us women that this man is a CATCH!

This man apparently thinks that HE IS THE CITY!  Or, maybe he's hiding somewhere inside one of those buildings......doing the whole "guess which person I am in this photo" thing that so many of you do! (this is his profile photo and the only photo he provides).  What I especially like is his self summary that says "I'm an over-educated and under-appreciated male in this urban environment."  Definitely one to run after ladies!

 Ummmm, I'm not really sure what to say about this one.  Trying to show his soft side?  A symbolic effort to tell us he can "stop and smell the roses, I mean, flowers, uh....."  Just comes off as a bit creepy and weird to me.
 AND.......the piece de resistance..............

 (No commentary necessary).

So, now that I have cheered myself up by reaffirming the fact that what is out there is probably not worth me stressing over and definitely not worth me "desiring"...............I leave to my readers to vote on their "fav" pic of the day :)
Considering another stint in dating, readers, just to provide you with more belly-laughing stories to entertain and delight you!  (Tara and Leanne have asked, hahahaha).